Brighter (Brighter #1) Read online

  Closing my eyes, I settled back against the cushions. “Jude?”

  “Yeah.”

  “I really like you.”

  “I really like you, too.”

  “Don't break my heart.”

  There was a pause, long enough that my eyes drifted open. “Don't break mine.”

  “I would never.”

  “Good. I don't think I could handle that.” He said it lightly, but I thought maybe he meant it.

  “You're not the one in a new place, trying to figure stuff out,” I said, staring up at the stars. “I'm staying here for me, but...I want to stay here for you, too.”

  “Stay with me tomorrow night,” he said suddenly.

  I sat up straight, like that would help me think more clearly. “Why?”

  "Because I want to hang out without having to think about you leaving at the end.”

  “I'd have to leave eventually,” I said, smiling in the darkness.

  “Yeah, but you could always come back.”

  Were we talking about the same thing? Short-term versus long-term? I took the safer route, keeping it playful. “What, every night? Yeah right.”

  “Why not?” He chuckled.

  “I like my bed,” I said, yawning.

  “Theo's in your bed.”

  Whoops. “It's not like that anymore.”

  “Maybe not.”

  I yawned, suddenly overcome with sleepiness. Hiking and playing in the sun, good food, and too much rum did that to a girl.

  “Go to sleep, Alina.”

  “M’kay. Night, Jude.”

  “Good night.”

  ~

  Caroline’s flight was not, thankfully, painfully early. Good thing, too—over-indulging the night before had left us a little hungover. After stopping by the good ol’ Golden Arches and filling up on greasy food, I dropped my girl to the airport.

  “I’ll see you soon,” I said, unexpectedly emotional as we lingered near ticketing.

  “You better,” she said, squeezing me tight. “I don’t know how much longer I can deal with Lettie.” Lettie was the girl subletting my room, a third-year medical student at UM with a penchant for cooking at midnight.

  “I know, I know.” I let go, giving her a small push. “Go check in before you miss your flight.”

  “Wouldn’t be the worst thing…”

  Theo was on a dive when I got back, having gotten a ride in with Cole. Our place needed a good cleaning; Theo could be messy in the mornings, especially if he was running late. And especially if he'd been drinking the night before.

  I'd just finished mopping when I heard the crunch of gravel out front. I peered out the window, surprised to see Jude jumping out of his Jeep. Grimacing, I looked down at my ratty old t-shirt and shorts.

  “Hey,” I said, opening the door before he could knock.

  “Hey, yourself,” he said, giving me a proper once-over. I wasn't wearing a bra, so I probably looked a bit indecent.

  I waved him inside. “You should’ve told me you were coming! I was just cleaning this place up.”

  “Sorry—it was kind of last minute. I'm heading in to town now.”

  “Working?”

  “Yup.”

  “Maybe I'll stop by later…see if the bartender can hook me up with ‘real drinks.’” I tossed a grin over my shoulder as I slipped into the kitchen to wash my hands.

  “I wondered if you remembered calling me.”

  I narrowed my eyes playfully. “I was pretty toasty, but yes— I remember.”

  “You weren't just drunk-dialing?”

  “I told you I’d call.” Hopping up on the counter, I grabbed an orange from the bowl we kept on the countertop. “And I meant what I said.”

  “About what?”

  “Everything.” I kept my eyes on the orange, rolling it between my palms.

  Jude stepped closer, and I parted my legs to let him in. “I meant what I said, too."

  I looked up at him. Here was an expression I thought I recognized: vulnerability. How far was he willing to go with this? We’d agreed on not breaking each other’s hearts. Had we agreed to a relationship?

  “You working today?” he asked. The backs of his fingers trailed goosebumps down my thighs.

  I fought a shiver. “Nope.”

  “Come to the bar, then.”

  As if I could say no. My heart pitter-pattered his name, for God's sake. “Just let me finish up here, and then I'll make my way downtown.”

  He leaned close and kissed me lightly, his fingertips stopping just under the hem of my shorts.

  “You're very touchy,” I whispered, dropping the orange.

  “Only with you.” His lips brushed one cheek, then the other. He had the softest lips.

  I stretched up to kiss him, moaning quietly as he teased his tongue into my mouth. Gripping my hips he pulled me to him, pressing our bodies so close I felt the phone in his pocket vibrate. “You gonna check that?” I asked, running my fingers through his soft, messy hair.

  He flattened his hands up under my shirt, warm, rough fingers spanning my back. My nipples hardened against his chest. If Jude did this to me when we were clothed, what would it be like when we were rolling around naked? Because come on, that’s where this was headed. Fast.

  Breaking away, he dug for his phone. “It’s probably Bodhi, wondering where I am.” He texted back and pocketed the phone, leaning back into me. “Actually, there is one thing about last night’s conversation.”

  “What?”

  His eyes strayed momentarily to my chest, looking ever the rascal as I tipped his chin up. “Asking you to stay with me when I haven’t even taken you on a date is probably jumping the gun.”

  “You think?” I asked, hooking my ankles around his legs.

  “When’s Theo leaving?”

  I glanced at the door, feeling shitty we were fooling around when Theo had expressly asked I not bring Jude around. “In about two weeks.”

  “Will you want to stay the night then?”

  “Will you take me out before then?” I hitched an eyebrow, though we both knew I’d say yes.

  “You have no idea.”

  My heart skipped a beat at the intention in his eyes. “Then, yeah. I’d love to.”

  Chapter Thirteen

  A text came through as I slid into my new favorite pair of jeans. They were a faded mint green, something I might not worn back home. Readjusting the towel on my head, I glanced at the phone, spying Theo's picture next to the new message.

  You coming to town later? I'll need a ride back.

  Coming now. Are you at the dive shop?

  Yeah.

  I raked through the closet, looking for the sassy little camisole Ivy had bequeathed to me. Her boobs were a lot bigger than mine, and she thought I could pull off tops that made her look ‘slutty’. I never thought she looked anything but classily sexy but whatever. Who was I to turn down cute clothes?

  “There you are,” I murmured, snagging the purple top off its hanger.

  The traffic in town was worse than usual. A cruise ship had come in that morning, bringing droves of tourists. They had to be back on the west side, to re-board the ship, by sundown. Weighed down by shopping bags, they piled on to the taxi buses that would return them to Frederiksted.

  Finally snagging a parking spot on a side street, I went straight for the dive shop, dodging a huge group of tourists on their way out. Theo was near the counter, talking to a tall, busty brunette. I might not have noticed her, except it was obvious by her body language that she was into him. I paused at the door. The thought of him hooking up with someone else didn’t upset me per se, but I couldn’t help the feelings of ambivalence. We had all sorts of history. Even before we'd started fooling around, we were a team, using each other to ward off people we weren't interested in.

  Theo looked like he could be interested in this girl, though. I plucked my phone from my purse and texted Emma, asking her if she'd be out later.

  “Alina.”

/>   I looked up. The brunette was leaving now, fluttering her fingers in a wave as she sashayed out the door. She was gorgeous, but then, so was Theo.

  “Hey,” I said, digging through my purse for the keys. “Are you hanging out for a while, or…?”

  “Not tonight.” He shook his head, cheeks slightly burnt from a day in the sun. “Too tired, and”—he paused, sniffing his pits— “I stink.”

  “You always smell good,” I said before I could stop myself.

  He made a face. “Wanna smell?”

  Ignoring that, I nodded in the direction the girl had gone. “She was cute.”

  His bright blue eyes searched mine, reminding me of times past. “She was okay.”

  I wandered closer, giving him our car keys. “Is this weird?”

  “Kind of.” He shrugged. “But it doesn’t really matter.”

  “You matter. To me.”

  “You matter to me, too.” Pocketing the keys, he swiped his phone off the counter. “I’m heading home, Cole.”

  Cole poked his head out from the stock room. He, Logan, and Billy shared rent with the owners of the dive shop, using the spot as a base for their sailing company. “See you, brother.” He looked at me, nodding once. “Alina.”

  We stepped outside, leaving the air conditioning for the warm, balmy breeze of late afternoon.

  “Cole hates me, doesn’t he?”

  “Nah. He’s just loyal.”

  My shoulders slumped. “Like I said…”

  “Kind of like Caroline last night, busting my balls,” he said, folding his arms.

  “She was, wasn’t she?” I asked, remembering the drunken episode.

  “Oh, yeah.” He yawned. “Where’d you park?”

  “Past Market Square, by that little barber shop.”

  “Okay.” He paused. “Be careful, okay? I don’t know if I trust that guy.”

  I gazed out toward the harbor, at the boats bobbing peacefully. "Don't worry. I trust him."

  “You trust too easily.”

  “I trust you, don't I?”

  “Then you know I still care about what happens to you.” He smiled ruefully, and I knew then that, while he certainly wasn't heartbroken, he was still working through the end of our relationship. And that was okay, because, I was too. It took adjusting. “I’ll take the couch.”

  ~

  Jude had a Mai Tai waiting for me when I got to Larsen’s. Beaming, I took a picture of it, so I could post it to Instagram, and then one of him. For more personal reasons.

  “Hope it's not watered down,” he said, leaning over the bar to kiss my cheek. “I made it when you texted from the parking lot.”

  “Sorry. I had to drop the car keys off to Theo.” I took a sip, giving him thumbs up.

  Dropping another maraschino cherry into my glass, he left to serve a couple that had just sat at the bar. Emma texted back just then. She and Logan were eating an early dinner at Kendrick's. She said they'd come by the bar afterwards.

  “What's up?” asked Jude, sitting in a barstool at my side. Ivy had taken his place behind the bar.

  I held my phone up. “Emma and her man are at Kendrick’s.”

  “I love Kendrick's. We should go…some time.”

  My tummy fluttered, the way it tended to do when he said things like that. I liked thinking about future times with him. Hesitantly, I leaned closer to him, craving his kisses but not sure if it was appropriate at the bar. I'd never been one for PDA, but I gave him a tiny kiss by his ear, blushing as I pulled away.

  He tangled our fingers together, resting our hands on his lap.

  “Well, well,” Ivy said, shaking her head as she stood across from us. “Guess it's true—where there's smoke, there's fire." She smirked, eyeing Jude. “I'd say I was surprised but...nope.”

  “I'll take a Jack and Coke. Thanks,” he responded, tapping the bar top.

  She stuck out her tongue but went to make the drink anyway.

  “Is this gonna be weird for her?” I asked, sipping my cocktail. “Because of her sister?”

  He lifted his chin. “Don't know, don't care.”

  “Well, I care. She's my friend, you know.”

  “And I love that about you...that you have a conscience. You're a better person than me.”

  “I wouldn't go that far.” The truth was, once I'd realized how badly I'd wanted Jude, there was very little that could've kept me from him.

  Ivy brought Jude's drink over. “Taking off early tonight?”

  “I don't know yet.” His eyes flickered briefly to me. “It depends on how busy we get.”

  She nodded. “Just let me know...and Alina, that top looks amazing on you.”

  Soon, the bar was packed. Margaret showed up, and for a while, she, Ivy, and Jude tag-teamed. Emma and Logan came, and eventually so did Cole and Billy. It looked like Billy had found a girlfriend, a curvy, petite blonde with an impressive sunburn. They swayed drunkenly nearby, dancing and making out.

  Jude kept me sweetened up with pretty cocktails, knowing I liked documenting the variety through pictures. I worked my way through a Sunset Passion Colada and a Mango Daiquiri before calling it quits, not wanting to be pukey on the way home.

  “You're okay to drive?” I asked Jude as we approached the jeep.

  “I only had that one drink,” he said, looking down at his phone. “Almost four hours ago.”

  We drove with the windows down, music playing softly. I closed my eyes and let my hand drift out the window, enjoying the way the wind made it fly.

  “I wanna show you something,” Jude said. Turning up an unmarked road, we climbed high in to the hills, stopping only when we hit a dead end. Jude turned so that we were facing the exit, and then parked. The lights of Christiansted twinkled before us like the tiny city it was.

  My heart swelled. “That's so pretty.”

  “We used to come up here all the time in high school, get into all kinds of trouble.”

  “I bet!” I smirked, peering around the darkness. “You were probably real stoners.”

  Jude laughed loudly, squeezing my knee. “Done know.”

  Done know. This was a Jude-ism to me, but I heard the guys say it all the time. “Is that a yes?”

  “It’s a yes and then some.” He leaned his head back on the seat. “We got pretty wild. May have been a hallucinogenic or two. Good times.”

  “It also looks like a total make-out spot.”

  “It is,” he said, unbuckling his seatbelt. Any lingering effects I'd been feeling from my drinks gave way to the intoxication of his closeness. Our lips met, and I twisted in my seat, trying to get closer.

  The DJ on the radio announced it was midnight. Our kiss drifted to a stop. I stared into his eyes, at the way they shined even in the dark and wondered if I could give up something as precious as this.

  ~

  “Do you want to come over for a while?”

  I smiled, keeping my eyes on the road. I liked Jude, a lot, but I could behave. “Sure, why not.”

  “Good.” He squeezed my thigh and then left his hand there, prompting me to cover it with mine.

  Plugging his phone in, he pulled up a roots reggae group he knew I liked. He’d introduced me to them way back, and they fit the mood now, mellow and soft.

  “So, you’re going home for Christmas, right?” he asked.

  I nodded. “My flight leaves on the twenty-second.”

  “About a month.”

  “Just about.” There was a beat of silence. My plane ticket was like our relationship’s expiration date. It sucked we’d taken so long to get to this point, but it couldn’t have happened any other way. Nothing was that simple.

  “You coming back?” he finally asked.

  I took a deep breath. “I want to, but I don’t think I can. Classes start January 16th.”

  “Hmm.”

  I sneaked a peak at him, but his face was unreadable. “I’ve already deferred once, you know?”

  “I remember.” Rolling to a stop at
a light, he offered me a small smile.

  The way Jude looked at me filled me with hope and fear and excitement and dread. I’d never had someone look at me the way he did. Not Theo, though I knew that we shared a special bond. Not even Mateo, the guy I’d lost my virginity to in high school. I thought we were in love and maybe we were—who knows—but we went to college as a couple and broke up a few months later. That was my one experience with heartbreak. I didn’t need it, not then and not now.