Brighter Page 6

  The next time I invited him, he kissed my cheek and said he was going to Larsen’s with the guys. “You don’t mind, do you?” he asked, throwing a clean shirt on.

  “Nope. Go do your thing.” I kissed his cheek. “Gotta go, though. It’s getting late.”

  Tossing my stuff into the back of the van, I joined Nora up front. “We’re heading east tonight, to Jack’s Bay,” she said, sipping from her canteen of tea. “That’s where the hawksbill turtles hang out, so sometimes I volunteer there instead.”

  “Jack and Isaac’s Bay?” I was familiar with the spot—I’d been doing my reading. “Owned by the Nature Conservancy?”

  “Yep.” She smiled at me. “My girl, Clarissa, works for them. We met at UVI. Usually there are just a few volunteers, but there’s an influx during the summer.”

  Jack’s Bay was as far east as Sandy Point was west, and just as isolated. Like South Florida, beaches off the beaten path weren’t always the safest places to be at night, so I was glad to see a group of volunteers had already assembled at the parking area.

  “It’s a bit of a hike,” said Nora, pulling into a space. “Down to the beach and then over. Takes about twenty, thirty minutes to get to Jack’s.”

  I nodded, tucking the flashlight she gave me into my backpack. “The turtles nest at Isaac’s Bay too, right?”

  “Yeah, we might even see a few. I’m sure there are volunteers there, as well.” I followed her to a cluster of volunteers near the trailhead. These faces were all new to me, but as usual, Nora knew everyone. “Clarissa, this is Alina,” she said, bringing me over to a tall, willowy blonde. “The one studying marine bio at the University of Miami.”

  “Hi.” I shook Clarissa’s hand. “Thanks for letting me tag along.”

  “Nora tells me you’ve been kicking ass down at Sandy Point, too.” Her dark eyes twinkled. “Maybe we can recruit you over to our side.”

  We started down the trail, chatting as we hiked. The shoreline at Jack’s Bay was much shorter than Sandy Point, hemmed in on either side by the island’s natural curves. I stood at the water’s edge for a moment, letting the tide tickle my toes. As always, we’d arrived just around sunset. The clouds were ablaze in oranges and pinks, shimmering over the water, turning the sand a salmon color. I took a few pictures, documenting the moment. I’d post later, when we had reception.

  In less than a month, St. Croix would be a memory. My heart squeezed tight.

  A familiar laugh caught my attention. Jude? My heart squeezed again, for entirely different reasons. Scanning the beach, I spotted him talking to Nora and Clarissa. He was barefoot, in old jeans and an even older t-shirt. His eyes lit in surprise as I walked over. “Alina. What’re you doing here?”

  “I—I always do this,” I stammered, shaking my head. “What are you doing here?”

  “I always do this,” he echoed, glancing at Nora.

  “She’s been coming to Sandy Point with me,” she said, rooting around her bag. “But Clarissa called me earlier, so I thought we’d check things out here.” She paused, nodding at me. “Jude’s been coming since he was a kid.”

  Every time I thought I’d figured Jude out…

  “I had no idea…that…”

  “That I give a shit about the environment?” He smirked. “That I like animals?”

  “Be nice, Larsen, or she’ll never come back,” said Nora. “Hey, Mickey’s here. Hold on a sec.” She jogged away, flagging down some guy in army pants.

  Jude tucked his hands into his pockets. “So, how’d Nora rope you into this?”

  “She didn’t rope me into anything,” I said, putting my phone away. “I’ll be working toward a Master of Science in marine bio when I start grad school this fall.”

  “Really?” I’d obviously impressed him—he was all ears now. “I…”

  “Had no idea I gave a shit about the environment?” I bit back a smile. “That I have a brain?”

  His eyes crinkled as he laughed. “I was going to say I had no idea we had so much in common.”

  “Did you major in biology, too?”

  “No.” His smile faded, and he looked at the water. “I double majored. Business and economics.”

  “Woah.” Now I was impressed. “Makes sense, seeing you own a business.”

  “It does come in handy.”

  “Was that not what you wanted?” Jude didn’t strike me as the type to do anything but what he wanted.

  “My dad opened Larsen’s as a restaurant back in the eighties. He added the bar a couple years later. Every day, after school, after playing basketball, I hung out at the restaurant.” He gazed down at me. “I did my homework upstairs, overlooking the wharf.”

  It was easy to imagine young Jude, running the streets of Christiansted…a little prince in his father’s castle. “I never would’ve guessed there was so much history there.”

  “It’s a part of me.”

  “But is it what you want now?” I was prying, but he hadn’t really answered my question and I wanted to know. I wanted to know him.

  “The simplest answer would be, yes. I do.” He ran his hands through his hair. “But I want a lot of things—don’t you?”

  I nodded, searching his eyes, my heart beating just a little faster than usual. “How do the sea turtles factor in?”

  He cracked a smile. “That’s more my mom’s thing. She’s been a member of the Nature Conservancy since…forever.”

  “What exactly do you do here?”

  “I help patrol the beaches. Keep poachers away, that kind of thing.” He folded his arms. “There’s a group of us…we come when we can.”

  Nora returned, touching my arm. “I’m going to get started. You coming?”

  The wind picked up, blowing our hair around. Jude took a step back. “I know I’ll see you around. I always do.”

  “Yeah.” I smiled, averting my eyes.

  Nora handed me one of the red-light lanterns we used to observe the turtles. “Oh, boy. Larsen strikes again.”

  “What’s that mean?”

  “Means he’s too cute for his own good and he loves pretty girls.” She smiled. “He’s harmless though. Come on, let’s get set up.”

  Hours later Nora and I were kneeling in the sand, watching a tagged hawksbill lay her eggs, when I realized with abrupt certainty I couldn’t leave. Not now, not yet. The tug-of-war that had been raging in my heart snapped.

  “Nora,” I whispered.

  “Hmm?” The little red light on her helmet shook as she jotted observations in her little notebook.

  “I’m gonna stay.”

  “What, here?” She glanced at me.

  “On St. Croix.”

  A smile grew on her face. “Yeah?”

  “Yeah. I’m going to email Professor Goodman and see if he can help me defer. I know it’s super last minute, but this is important work. I’m in the field, you know?”

  “I do know.” She continued writing. “Just make sure you’re staying for the right reasons.”

  I paused, and our eyes met. “I am.”

  “Good.” Reaching over, she squeezed my hand. “I still have connections at UVI, if it helps. You’d be a great asset here.”

  Chapter Eight

  My mother blinked in surprise. We were using Facetime, which kept buffering thanks to the rainstorm raging outside. “You’re what, now?”

  “Deferring. Not for the whole year.” I flopped back on the couch. “Just fall semester. Professor Goodman’s helping me with the paperwork and all that since it’s a little late in the game to be doing this. But I have good reasons, you know? Working with SEA, and the Nature Conservancy, and Nora…I’m getting so much experience. It’s like a long-term internship.” I was rambling, and I knew it, but I couldn’t help myself. I’d never been so sure of something in my life.

  Mom smiled, shaking her head. “Well, I’m proud of you, honey. Sounds like you’re living the dream.”

  “I am, actually. It’s amazing.”

  She laug
hed. Adam popped into the frame, sticking his tongue out. “You’re crazier than I thought, Alina. Can Theo send me a ticket, too? I wanna move to the islands, mon.”

  “No one sounds like that here,” I said, wrinkling my nose. “And don’t you start school, like, next week?”

  “Two weeks. Don’t rush it.” He disappeared again, leaving Mom’s wry expression.

  “How’s he been?” I asked, switching gears.

  “You know.” She sighed. “The usual. Wants to move in with Dad, and all that.”

  “So, why doesn’t he?” I knew why, though, and her next words confirmed it.

  “I think we both know your father’s not parenting material. Summer’s about all he can handle.”

  “Hm.” I chewed my lip, not wanting to say something I’d regret. “Adam had fun, though?”

  “Yeah. He did,” she said. “How’s Theo?”

  “He’s great. Glad I’m staying.”

  She grinned slyly. “I’m sure he is.”

  It’d taken her some time to trust our ‘arrangement’ or his intentions, but my mother loved Theo and was convinced we’d end up together. I’d given up trying to convince her—and Caroline, for that matter—otherwise.

  Theo really was happy I was staying, though. He’d been surprised at the news, and then concerned.

  “But would you stay even if I left?” he asked, a frown marring his features. “I mean, there’s a good chance I’ll be ready to leave way before spring semester starts, Alina.”

  I shrugged, ignoring the little seeds of doubting trying to spring up. After all, I’d never not been in school. “I’ll stay here. Emma said she can probably get me a job at the coffee shop downtown.”

  He nodded thoughtfully. “And you’d still be enrolled in school. Just deferring?”

  “Right.”

  “Sounds like you’ve got this all figured out, then.”

  “I’m trying not to panic, actually.” I giggled nervously. “I just…I feel like I need to do this.”

  “This makes sense, Alina. You’re still doing what you love.” He pulled me into a hug, resting his chin on my head. “And I’m kind of proud of you for being spontaneous.”

  “I’m starting to think not getting into MBARI was a good thing.” Wrapping my arms around him, I squeezed tight. “I’m glad you brought me here.”

  ~

  My relationship with Theo shifted when I decided to stay. I was hyper-aware that we were living together now, and not just on vacation. We were half-watching a movie one night—he was watching; I was daydreaming—when I pressed pause. “Will it be weird if I decorate?”

  Theo smirked. “Why would it be weird?”

  “Because it would be sort of domestic,” I said. “Why’re you looking at me like that?”

  “Because you’re funny.”

  “I’m not funny.” I huffed, pushing my hair from my face. “I’m considerate. You’re the one who’s terrified of commitment.”

  “No, I’m not!” Chuckling, he shook his head. “And this isn’t commitment. It’s—”

  “Playing house. And yes, you are.” I raised an eyebrow. “Michelle?”

  “Michelle and I wanted different things. That’s a far cry from being terrified.” Theo whacked me with a pillow.

  “Well. Could’ve fooled me.”

  “I just don’t have time, Alina. Not for all of that.” He opened his mouth, like he might continue, but then stopped.

  “What?”

  “Is that…is that what you’re interested in?” He rubbed his beard pensively, as if we were discussing acquisitions and mergers. Which, maybe, we were. “I’d commit to you, if you wanted me to.”

  “What are you even talking about?” I asked, alarmed.

  “We love each other, right? It could work. We don’t crowd each other; we have great sex, great chemistry…”

  “Relationships need more than that,” I whispered, frowning at my hands. Because while Theo was right in that we seemed to have all the pieces, we were missing something. Missing the glue.

  “This keeps coming up lately, though. Are things changing?”

  I peeked up at him. I thought about what Caroline said, about us catching feelings, and suddenly I didn’t know what I felt anymore. Maybe it was too hard keep this simple.

  “No,” I said eventually. “It’s coming up because we’re going through all the emotions of being in a relationship without actually being in one.”

  That night, when we had sex, it felt like more.

  Like Theo wanted it to be more, or like he thought that I did.

  ~

  Days became weeks, and Theo and I settled into island life.

  We traded in the rental for a raga, Crucian slang for a rusty old car, a beater. I took on a part-time job at the coffee shop Emma managed downtown while Theo accompanied Cole, Billy, and Logan on their day trips. We hung out with friends at the beach, at Larsen’s. We shopped together for produce at Eli’s organic farm and then had dinner with him, Nora, and the girls. Sometimes we hooked up, but mostly it was like living with my best friend. We didn’t talk about what we were, and that worked for me.

  Wanting a couple of things from home, I made a small list for Caroline and sent money so she could send it down. The apartment began to feel like home, and so did St. Croix. I felt like I belonged, and like I could slow down. Breathe. Nora and I continued working with the turtles, dividing our time between Sandy Point and Jack’s Bay. Sometimes I brought Jude coconut tarts from the café, knowing he had a sweet tooth for them.

  But we never talked about things, either. It wasn’t real if we didn’t put words to it.

  ~

  “Where’re you going?” asked Theo, squeezing my buns. I was in leggings, waiting for Emma to pick me up.

  “Yoga.” I eyed his burly, Cole-inspired beard. The two of them were nature boys now, running around the island, diving and spear fishing with Jude and Bodhi and the guys whenever they could. “Wanna come?”

  “Nope. But you have fun.”

  Emma was a regular, so I’d asked Ivy to join us so I wouldn't be the only newbie. We stayed in the back, bending and sweating, and trying not to giggle at the music and pretzel poses. Afterward, Ivy and I headed to Larsen’s while Emma went home.

  Jude was bartending. He was chatting with someone when we walked in, gesturing wildly like he was telling a story. Despite the fact we hung with the same crowd, he was still kind of an enigma to me. He wasn't the type I could have a surface relationship with—the more I learned about him, the more I'd want to learn until...

  But no. St. Croix was temporary, and when it was time to leave, I wanted as little entanglement as necessary. Good friends, yes. Funky crushes, no. Besides, Ariel was forever giving me dirty looks when we ran into each other at the bar.

  I would've been happy to grab a table and wait for one of the servers to come out, but Ivy loved the bar. We took two seats in the middle, waiting for Jude to notice us.

  “Nothing like a post-workout drink,” Ivy said, smacking her lips.

  “Yeah, well, not all of us are as genetically blessed as you. I should probably add cardio to my routine.”

  Her eyes brightened. “Hey, we could do sunrise runs! On the beach.”

  “Let's not overdo it.”

  “Totally joking, are you kidding me? I’d die out there.”

  Jude’s voice died down. He drifted over, leaning his elbows on the bar top. “To what do I owe the pleasure?”

  “Hook it up, bartender man,” Ivy said. “What’s on tap tonight?”

  “Pretty sure you know what’s on tap.” He looked us over. “Were you at the gym or something?”

  I smoothed my hair back. Maybe investing in some cute workout gear was a good idea. “We went to yoga with Emma.”

  He snorted. “She made me go once.”

  “No way.”

  “Yeah. I lasted maybe ten minutes. He leaned a little closer. “My body wasn't made to bend that way.”

  “I don't
think mine was either,” I said.