Brighter Read online

  Brighter

  For Andre

  Chapter One

  This can't be happening.

  I sank onto the couch and stared at the letter in my hands, reading the words until they blurred. And then I read them again.

  My heart sank. I hadn't gotten in. The MBARI summer internship in Monterey Bay had been a dream forever. Only twelve spots were awarded a year, but I was more than qualified, with a double major in marine science and biology, a 3.8 GPA, and four years’ worth of other highly sought-after internships. And I'd worked my ass off for all of it.

  Stomach sour with disappointment, I tossed the letter aside. What the hell was I supposed to do now? I'd already found a couple of potentials to sublet my room for the summer, but now it looked like I'd be sticking around.

  The door swung open with a creak. My roommate, Caroline, breezed in, ever graceful despite the ninety-degree heat outside and an armful of groceries.

  “Is there anything left in the car? You need help?” I asked, dragging myself off the couch.

  “No, this is it.” Caroline set the bags on the counter, glancing up at me with a frown. She'd cut her hair recently, and I was still trying to get used to the super short, natural curls. “What's wrong?”

  I shrugged. “I didn't get it.”

  “What, the internship?”

  I nodded, shoving my light brown hair into a bun. I had longer, looser curls than Caroline, reaching mid-way down my back. Caroline thought I should try something shorter, but with a face as round as mine, I had doubts. “Just got the letter.”

  Her jaw dropped, and she came out from behind the counter. “California's a no-go?”

  The sympathetic dismay in her eyes made mine sting, and I took a deep breath. “It’s a no-go. This year, anyway.”

  “Oh, Alina. I'm sorry.” Sighing, she wrapped her thin, brown arms around me, smelling of lavender and lemongrass and whatever oils she’d dabbled in this morning. “I know how much you wanted this.”

  “I've done internships every summer of undergrad.” I sniffled. “What am I supposed to do now?”

  “I don't know, baby. This sucks.” She squeezed a little tighter before letting go. “You tell your mom yet?”

  “Not yet.” I followed her into the kitchen, where she'd started putting the food away. “I got the letter right before you came home.”

  She brandished a bottle of two buck Chuck. “Well, I was gonna save this for my date with Jeremiah, but it looks like we need it now. Come on. Grab a glass.”

  ~

  I flipped my sunglasses down, protecting my eyes from the cheery, bright March sun. Chuckling, Theo slid his arm around my shoulders. “Come on. I'll take you to brunch.”

  I didn't argue. Caroline and I had been up late, polishing off her wine and then a bottle I'd found in the recesses of our pantry. “Thanks for coming. I know you were studying.”

  He kissed my forehead. “Anything for you.”

  Theo Wesley and I met sophomore year, at an open mic off campus. Neither of us was into poetry, but Caroline was performing, and Theo was supporting some girl he liked. Thrown together by proximity and fate, we ended up swapping stories of growing up in Coral Gables and chortling over each other's snark.

  We'd been thick as thieves ever since, and sometimes even closer than that.

  “You know, I don't think I have ever seen you this depressed,” he said, whipping his BMW out of my apartment complex. “Not even when you broke it off with what's-his-name.”

  “What's-his-name has nothing on this internship.”

  “I know. You should've been a shoo-in.”

  “That's what I'm saying,” I wailed, slouching in my seat. “Especially after securing Goodman's recommendation.” Having been published in tons of journals, my professor was a god among the academic types.

  “Maybe next year,” Theo said, glancing at me. “You're trying again, right?”

  “I don't know.”

  “Alina.”

  “I’ve wanted this since high school.” I swallowed the lump in my throat. “I should've applied last year instead of going to Costa Rica...”

  “If you want it that badly, then do everything you can to set it up for next year. It’s not a once-in-a-lifetime experience, even if it feels like one.” This was why I loved Theo. He was pushy in all the best ways.

  Minutes later we swung into the packed parking lot of Tajo's, our favorite spot for Cuban-American style brunch. It was always packed on Sundays, but we lucked out with a spot on the deck, overlooking the blue-green depths of the Atlantic.

  “Want to share the torrejas again? You can get that other waffle thing you always get...and the fruit salad...and bottomless mimosas?”

  “Bottomless for me, maybe,” I said, cocking an eyebrow. “You're driving. Or are we going to have to call an Uber?”

  “I'll just have one,” he promised, tossing his menu down. “You can have whatever you want.”

  I didn't know what ached more: my lost opportunity or Theo's sweet attempts to soften the blow. Halfway through our feast, he paused, aiming his laser-blue eyes my way.

  I stared intently at the mimosa I was pouring. Admittedly, I nursed a teeny, tiny crush on Theo…so it was hard not to be affected when he looked at me like that. “What?”

  “I think you should come with me this summer. To St. Croix.”

  Theo was taking a gap year before law school, starting with a trip to the tropics. I shook my head, immediately dismissing the idea. “No. Come on.”

  “Why not?”

  “I have work to do. Shit to get done if I'm going to salvage this summer.”

  “All you do is work. When was the last time you traveled?” He held a hand up. “For fun?”

  “Paris wasn't exactly a chore.” I gave him a saucy look.

  He cocked his head, smirking. “No, it certainly wasn't.” Last summer, after I’d returned from a research program in Costa Rica, Theo surprised me with a birthday trip to Paris. We went as friends and returned to the States as quasi-lovers, which I suppose happens when you tangle with the city of love. “But that was a year ago. You could use a break.”

  “I don't have time to take a break,” I said.

  “Everyone has time.” A rogue gust of wind ruffled his shiny, black hair. “Even you, for once. A couple of months in the tropics might do you good.”

  “Months?”

  “Weeks. You can get right back to the grind when you come back.”

  “I can't afford to be gone for weeks.”

  “Sure, you can. You've been saving up for Monterey, haven’t you?” He popped a strawberry into his mouth. “Use that.”

  “It would probably be smarter to stash that away for next year.”

  “You’re right,” he said. “I'll get your ticket—”

  “No.” Frolicking around the warm waters of the Caribbean with Theo sounded heavenly, but it might not be too smart. Our relationship worked because we kept it simple, no strings attached. This sounded a little too intimate.

  “We can stay with Cole.”

  “Doesn’t he live in an apartment?”

  Theo shook his head. “Not anymore. He and the guys are living it up in some huge house overlooking the water.”

  Cole had dropped out of the University of Miami years before, chasing dreams of a sailing business in the U.S. Virgin Islands. He’d succeeded apparently, and been trying to get Theo to visit for ages. I took a bite of bacon, caught between the appeal of the offer and my guilt for even considering it. Money was nothing more than a means to an end to Theo. It came easily to him and got him what he wanted. I’d grown up differently, with a little brother and a single Mom who’d taught me to work hard for what I wanted. Every dollar mattered.

  Which is why I couldn't just let T
heo buy me another plane ticket. “I'm going to talk to Professor Goodman,” I said. “He's always looking for research assistants. And I'm sure Imani will let me keep my shift at Trader Joe's.”

  “Oh, come on—you can do all that when you get back,” said Theo, waving his fork around. “The more I think about this, the better it sounds. You need this. You can actually enjoy the beach instead of studying it.”

  “Treating me to brunch is one thing…taking me on trips is another. We’ve been through this.”

  “Do it for me, then. We’re not going to be able to hang out after graduation otherwise.” Pushing our plates aside, he took my hands in his and went for the kill. “And we definitely won't be able to do stuff like this when I'm at Cornell next year.”

  “You fight dirty.”

  “Always.” He squeezed my hands, probably sensing I was caving. “Come on, Bambi.”

  “I hate when you call me that.”

  “What else am I supposed to call you when you look at me with those huge, brown eyes?”

  “My name.”

  “Alina. Come with me to St. Croix. There’s no one I’d rather go with, and tickets aren’t even expensive right now.”

  Maybe not for you, I thought. But I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t painfully tempted—St. Croix sounded like a dream, especially after an exhausting school year. Giving Theo a wry smile, I laced my fingers through his. “Fine. I’d love to go.”

  ~

  Folding the last of my tank tops into a small suitcase, I turned and caught the tail end of Caroline's smirk as she lounged on my bed. It was her ain't this some shit smirk, and it usually popped up when she thought I was doing something out of character.

  Like my entire relationship with Theo.

  “What?” I asked, tossing a sock at her.

  She dodged it, careful not to spill her wine. “First France, now the Virgin Islands. If this is the kind of thing you and Theo do as friends”— she paused, hooking her fingers into air quotes— “I can only imagine the honeymoon when y'all stop fronting and acting like this is purely platonic.”

  Yeah, I'd seen that comment coming. Shrugging, I zipped the suitcase and stowed it at the foot of my bed. Caroline seemed to think that if we dissected my relationship with Theo enough, I’d see things her way. But it was simple: we were (close) friends with (great) benefits. We loved each other—but we weren’t in love—and while things got hot sometimes, they weren't exactly romantic.

  “I mean, I know he’s the sexiest white boy in a ten-mile radius, but…”

  “I don't know why you always bust my chops about this.” I studied the tips of my hair, the split ends that needed tending to. By the end of summer, there would be ribbons of dirty blonde streaked through it. “You like Theo.”

  “I adore Theo, but you’re both in denial. This is, in fact, a relationship whether you call it one or not.”

  “Of course, it’s a relationship. He’s one of my best friends.”

  “That you sleep with.”

  I stuck my tongue out at her. “Maybe we should try it out.”

  She ignored that, waving her hand. “I just don’t want you getting hurt when he realizes you have, in fact, caught feelings. Boys like that tend to run when things get too real.”

  “I haven’t really caught feelings—I just think he’s cute.” I flopped back onto my unmade bed. “And he is never going to know that because it’s completely irrelevant.”

  Caroline shook her head. “Disagree.”

  “For real, why are we having this conversation again?”

  “Because you’re going on vacation with him, Alina! You’re doing all these couple-y things that are bound to end in couple-y feelings! Which would be fine if y’all were on the same page, but you’re not.”

  “No, we’re on the same page,” I said, shaking my head. “School comes first. Always has. Theo and I hang out when we want, hook up…whatever. It’s easy.”

  She followed me. “Getting laid without having to commit. Very efficient.”

  I rooted through the pantry, looking for the snacks I’d scored for our Netflix binge. “Relationships take time, time I won’t have until I’m done with grad school. I can’t get distracted now. You know how I feel about this, Car.”

  “Yeah, I do.” I knew she had a lot more to say, but she just shrugged. “You’re a grown ass woman. If you think you can handle this, then hopefully you can.”

  Chapter Two

  We drifted through a white cotton ball of a cloud, jostled playfully until our plane came out the other side. Theo blinked awake, yawning as he turned to the window. He always took the window seat, because he always napped.

  I never could, so I usually took advantage of the downtime and read. We were in business class this time, a free upgrade thanks to his healthy mileage account.

  “Look at that,” he urged, squeezing my knee.

  Leaning across his lap, I peered down at the turquoise water below. I loved the beaches I'd grown up around, but I'd never seen anything like this. Well, that wasn't true: there'd been my summer in the Bahamas a few years back– another internship, of course. That had been incredible.

  Anticipation rippled through my belly. “I'm really glad we're doing this,” I whispered.

  Theo grinned back, winking.

  We flew lower and lower. The waves moved in ripples, white caps foaming over the reef. I couldn't wait to go snorkeling, to explore the world beneath the surface.

  “I bet the scuba diving here is great.”

  “Has to be,” agreed Theo. “I mean, look at it.”

  A smattering of boats drifted off the rugged, sandy coastline. St. Croix was all bucolic green hills punctuated by houses, serpentine roads, and wide-open spaces. Nothing like Miami, where millions of people coexisted in the sprawling grid of skyscrapers, highways, and tightly coiled neighborhoods. I loved my city, warts and all, but this was a welcome break.

  The pilot's voice crackled on over the speakers, welcoming us to paradise.

  ~

  “Well, we made it. Cheers.” Theo polished off his complimentary rum punch in one gulp.

  “Cheers.” The rum punch was good, sweet and tangy with a kick.

  But man, was it hot. Nothing I wasn't used to, but still. Near the curb, taxi drivers waited in air-conditioned vans, offering tourists rides and respite from the swelter.

  “He's late.” Theo shifted impatiently, squinting at his phone.

  “When isn't Cole late?” I snorted. Theo's best friend lived in his own little world...which, come to think of it, probably explained why he'd upped and moved to a Caribbean island a couple years ago.

  Suddenly, a pair of arms wrapped around me from behind, squeezing and lifting. “Alina!”

  Squealing, I twisted around so I could hug the idiot holding me. “Cole!”

  Cole released me so he could greet Theo. It was so good to see this fool. Some things, like the burly beard and the sun-streaks in his red hair, were new, but others, like his infectious laugh and goofy swagger, were totally the same.

  “Welcome to the frontier,” he sang, slinging an arm around each of us. “Let's go.”

  Theo offered me shotgun in Cole's oversize SUV, but I let him have it. Really, I just wanted to stretch out in the back seat, glue my face to the window, and take in the sights. The airport seemed like it was in the country, but then the two-lane road we were on led to a highway.

  And we were driving on the left. Yikes. That would take a little getting used to. “Can you feel the a/c back there, Alina?” Cole asked as we rolled up to a stoplight.

  “Yeah, I'm good.”

  “Good. I had that bad boy fixed just for you...Couldn't have you wilting in the heat like a delicate flower.”

  “You know Miami’s worse.” I chuckled, swatting at the back of his head.

  “You guys hungry?” he asked, pausing at an intersection. The highway had ended. I gazed out the window, taking in the tree-lined streets, the sprawl of strip malls, fast food joints
, and gas stations.

  “Starving,” Theo said.

  “Good, because there's this lady who sells fried chicken and johnny cakes beneath that tree right there. See the food van? I'm never on this side of the island, so...” he rambled as he drove, waxing rhapsodic about the delights of West Indian food.

  My stomach growled. I didn't know what johnny cakes were, but if they were as yummy as Cole said they were, I was more than down.