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  “No, but we can definitely compromise. At least try to do the right thing.”

  “You remind me of your mama,” he said with a grin.

  “What, responsible?”

  “Something like that,” he said.

  I shrugged. “Someone has to be.”

  “You don’t think much of your old man, do you?”

  I peered over at him.

  “Like I said, you’re a lot like your mom, and she didn’t have too much patience when it came to…well… me.” He smiled sadly. “But I’m proud of you.”

  My chest tightened. Maybe he wasn’t as stuck in his head as I’d always imagined. It was always weird dealing with your parents as people and not just…parents. I wondered if it was weird for him, seeing me as my own person.

  “It’s not that I don’t think much of you. It’s that you…you weren’t always around.” I swallowed, heart racing. My mother’s words…Caroline’s…Jude’s all came to me. Tell him how you feel. “I felt like I was always on the periphery of your life.”

  He quieted, looking intently at me. I didn’t know what else to say. Even that had been exhausting.

  “I didn’t always know what to do,” he said. “Still don’t. But I’m here now.”

  “Yeah.” I nodded, feeling lighter than I had in a while. Maybe he’d never change, but maybe that wasn’t the point. “You are. Thanks.”

  ~

  On Friday morning, I was on my hands and knees, cleaning seaweed and sand from behind the bar, when Jude walked into Larsen’s. He wasn’t due back for another two days, but I wasn’t surprised to see him. The bar was his baby, and while he’d stayed calm about this whole debacle, I suspected he’d been freaking out a little on the inside.

  Our eyes met, and I stood up, wiping the back of my hand across my forehead. He grinned real slow, dropping his bag on a table as he closed the distance between us. “There she is.”

  I bit my lip, peeking up at him. He smirked down at me, tugging my ponytail as he went in for a kiss.

  “This must be Jude,” said my father, swaggering over like he owned the place. “Mitch Wright; pleased to meet ya.”

  “Pleasure’s all mine, Mr. Wright,” Jude said, letting go of me to accept the handshake. “Glad you made it down.”

  But then Ariel strolled in, all wide-eyed and amazed as she put her travel bag beside Jude’s. “Oh my God. I’m so glad everyone’s okay!”

  I looked from her to Jude. “Oh, for fuck’s sake,” I snapped, throwing my scrub brush into the dirty bucket of water I’d been using. I was tired, filthy, and just not in the mood, so I made a beeline for the back office.

  He followed, of course. “Alina, come on.”

  “Did you guys come in on the same flight?”

  Exhaling loudly, he shut the door and leaned against it. “There weren’t that many flights back this morning, so yeah.”

  Rage, red-hot and all-consuming, burned a fiery trail from my stomach to my face. Not trusting myself to speak, I just stared at him. Jude was better at the waiting game than I was, though, because he just stared back.

  “Well, looks like you have enough help here so I’m heading out,” I said, grabbing my purse from the desk. “The bar’s fine. Just a little water damage.”

  “I don’t care about the fucking bar,” he nearly snarled, crossing the room. “I missed you. I need you.”

  Tears filled my eyes. I looked at my shoes, exhausted. I knew Jude loved me but seeing Ariel at his side over and over was starting to make me feel like—in some ways—she was what I couldn’t be. And I knew that was stupid, but it was how I felt. “I can’t do this right now.”

  “You’re really gonna leave like that?” he asked, tangling his fingertips with mine.

  My heart ached. I loved him so much I hurt from it, but all I felt was disappointment—in myself, for not being with him when he needed me, and with him for not seeing Ariel for who she really was. Squeezing his hand, I left…the back way.

  I didn’t want anyone to see me go.

  ~

  Miles answered Caroline’s door. He was shirtless, as usual, his hair picked out into a fluffy ‘fro. “Hey, “Lina,” he said, raising his bushy eyebrows. “Everything safe? You okay?”

  “Yeah, everything’s fine.” I shifted from one foot to the other. “Is Caroline home?”

  His face relaxed into a grin, and he rolled his eyes. “Of course, she’s home. Come on.” He yanked me inside, chuckling. Their power was still out, so it was a little hot inside the duplex despite the open windows.

  Caroline emerged, wiping her hands on a towel. “Hey, girl! I thought you’d be at the bar.”

  “I was, for a while,” I said. “But then Jude came back…with Ariel…so I let myself out.”

  Miles scratched his head. “Um, I don’t think Jude’s fuckin’ with that.”

  “Oh, I know he’s not fucking with it,” I said, collapsing onto the couch. “I’m just sick of seeing her face.”

  “You and me both,” Caroline said, wrinkling her nose. “That girl is always in the sauce.”

  “You know she went to see Jude’s parents in Boston, right?” I asked.

  Caroline gaped at me, but Miles just whistled, shaking his head. “Yeah. That’s Ariel, for real. She’s always been like that.”

  I wiped a hand across my face, newly aware of how greasy and gross I felt. “Anyway. I need a break. Can I stay here tonight?”

  “Of course,” said Caroline. “Far as I’m concerned, this is still your place.”

  Miles nodded. “I can go—”

  “No, don’t. Stay.” I checked my phone for reception, but it had blanked out again. Maybe for the best.

  “Where’s Pops?” Caroline asked suddenly.

  “I, uh…left him at Larsen’s,” I said, biting my lip. I didn’t know what I’d been thinking—just that I needed to get away from the bar. It was a jerky move, but the last thing I felt like dealing with was my father’s questions.

  “Want me to swoop him up?” Miles asked, snatching a t-shirt from the doorknob. “I need to go get some ice, anyway.”

  “You sure?”

  “Sure, he’s sure,” Caroline said, sitting beside me.

  “I’ll be right back.” Miles ruffled my hair on his way out the door. “And don’t stress, ‘Lina. You know you got that boy locked down.”

  Once Miles’ car started, Caroline turned to me, tucking her legs beneath her. “Okay, now what happened? Why the hell would Jude came back from Boston with Ariel?”

  “Good question.” All my breath left me, then, and I sagged into the couch. “He wasn’t supposed to come back for another couple of days, but with the storm and everything he came back early. He said flights were limited, so he and Ariel just caught what they could. Which sounds sensible, but…”

  “But Ariel’s a conniving bitch.”

  “Right.”

  Caroline rolled her eyes. “And what, is Jude too clueless to realize she’s still into him?”

  “I think he knows, he just…he’s used to it. Used to her. They’ve known each other forever.”

  “You’ve known Theo forever—how would Jude like it if he was always hanging around?”

  I snorted. “That’s so true.”

  She cocked her head, smiling. “You want a beer or something? They’re a little warm, but…”

  “Sounds like heaven.”

  I followed her into the kitchen, hopping up on the counter. I remembered sitting here, when Jude and I were new. Things had been complicated then, too, but not like now. Caroline popped open two beers and sat beside me.

  “The thing is, I should’ve been there with Jude. In Boston, with his parents.” I took a sip of beer. “But I wasn’t there. She was. And that makes me feel shitty, like I’m not good for him, or enough…or like the things we want are too different.”

  “I hear you, but no.” Caroline shook her head. “If she was good for him, they’d be together. But she’s fake as fuck, and Jude’s not stupi
d. He’s all about you, girl, and eventually he’ll realize you’re all about him. You just need to like…figure your shit out. It’s hard, being with someone.”

  I nodded, swallowing the urge to cry. “I really feel like I let him down, Caro. That’s the thing.”

  She reached over, rubbing my arm. “Then tell him that. It’ll be okay.”

  In the morning, Dad and I stopped by the bakery for bread and cheese before heading up to Jude’s house. He was in a great mood, singing along to the radio and carrying the conversation, but I felt like a shitty girlfriend and a shitty daughter, and I told him as much when he asked why I was being such a grump.

  “I still feel bad about yesterday,” I said. He didn’t need to know details about Jude, too.

  “For what?” he asked, eyes twinkling with mischief. There were breadcrumbs in his beard.

  “Dad.” I glanced at him. “I left you at the bar yesterday.”

  “We all have our moments,” he said, waving me off. “I didn’t even know you were gone till your friend came and got me.”

  I wasn’t sure if that made me feel better or worse.

  A lot of the trees lining Jude’s hill had thinned out during the hurricane, their leaves blowing clean off. We drove slowly, careful to avoid errant branches and twigs, finally arriving in the empty driveway. I parked in my usual spot, my stomach twisting anxiously. Fighting with Jude—or whatever we were doing—felt foreign, and while I was slightly relieved I could put off the inevitable conversation a bit longer, mostly I just wanted things to be right between us.

  Inside, there were signs of Jude everywhere: the detritus of breakfast in the kitchen, his half-unpacked suitcase in the bedroom. I turned on the shower, grateful we’d gotten power back on this part of the island. I didn’t think I’d ever take something as simple as a shower for granted again.

  Lost in thought, I nearly walked into Jude when I emerged from the bathroom in a towel. “Hey! What’re you doing here?”

  “I live here,” he said, arching an eyebrow.

  “I mean…” I shook my head. “I thought you were at work.”

  Toeing his sneakers off, he sat on the bed. “I stayed late last night. Didn’t feel like going in today.”

  I nodded, fidgeting with my towel.

  His eyes found mine, but his face was impassive. “Is that why you came back? Because you thought I’d be at work?”

  “No,” I whispered. “I didn’t know where you’d be.”

  He stared up at me. When it seemed like he wasn’t going to say anything, I went to the closet, looking for clean clothes to wear. I’d been here alone for over a week, missing him, but now that he was back everything felt wrong. Slipping into a dress, I turned around.

  “I stayed with Caroline last night.”

  “I know where you were.” He closed his eyes, scrubbing his hand over his face. “I’m sorry you felt like you had to go someplace else.”

  Tears welled up, spilling over. I went to him, stopping just short of where he was. “I just needed to think…but I’m sorry I left like that.”

  He nodded slowly, thumbing the tear that had fallen down my cheek. “If working with the twins is going to cause friction between you and me, it’s not worth it.”

  “Ivy’s fine. I love Ivy. But Ariel…I don’t play games, Jude, and I feel like this is all one big game to her. I can’t do it anymore.” I moved between his knees, relieved when he wrapped his arms around me.

  “I get it.” He gazed up at me.

  “It would be like Theo hanging out with me all the time,” I added, silently thanking Caroline.

  “That would suck,” he said quietly.

  “I’m sorry I wasn’t there last week.” My chin wobbled, and I took a deep, deep breath, trying to avoid an ugly-cry. “I should’ve been there.”

  “Yeah.” He drew me closer, pressing his face to my chest. “I needed you.”

  Tears spilled down my cheeks, and I rested my chin on his head.

  “I’m not going to lie…it was a tough week. And you weren’t there, and I was pissed.” He sighed. “But when I got off the plane, all I could think about was seeing you. And when I did, you were right there in the thick of it, cleaning up. Taking care of my bar. And all the fight just left me, because even when you didn’t show up the way I wanted you to, you still showed up.”

  I pulled back, wiping my face. “I love that place. And I love you.”

  “I love you, too.”

  ~

  If Jude was nervous about spending time with my dad, he didn’t act like it.

  And if my father was suspicious of Jude, he didn’t show that. In fact, they got along quite well. Jude arranged for a charter to take Mitch deep sea fishing the day before he left, and that sealed the deal. They left early in the morning and returned around dusk, sunburnt and chummy, full of stories.

  When it was time for my father to fly home, I drove him to the airport. We’d spent the day at the bar, hanging out with Bodhi and Jude.

  “Can’t believe you’ve been here almost a week,” I said, shaking my head. “Went by so fast.”

  “I know it.” He stroked his beard. “I’ll be back sooner than you know.”

  “Don’t make promises you can’t keep.”

  “You’ll see,” he said, picking up his bag as I made a left into the airport’s departure area.

  I wasn’t holding my breath, but I was weirdly okay with that. My Dad wasn’t the stuff of Hallmark cards, but he’d shown up when it mattered and maybe that would have to be enough. For now.

  Climbing out of the Jeep, I gave my father a quick hug. “Have a safe flight, Dad.”

  “Love you, babygirl.”

  “Love you, too.”

  Chapter Nine

  Midnight barked at my arrival. I bent to snuggle him before continuing to the kitchen, where I dropped my bag and keys on the counter. Music drifted from Jude’s home office across the house.

  I found him in there, hard at work behind his desk.

  “How’s the accounting going?” I asked.

  Sticking his pencil behind his ear, he turned the music down. “Tediously. How’d your presentation go?”

  I walked around his desk, letting him pull me onto his lap. “Spectacularly.”

  There had been minor water damage done to UVI because of the hurricane, so Bishop, Cordelia, and I ended up having an extra week to prepare for our talk. We’d slayed today, though.

  “Good.” He smiled up at me, tugging me close for a kiss. “I know you’re relieved.”

  “You have no idea.”

  We fooled around for a while, eventually leaving his desk for the patio. “So, what are we doing for your birthday?” asked Jude. “Something at the bar?”

  “How about something here,” I suggested, glancing around. I loved Jude’s backyard, and we didn’t use it enough in my opinion. “We can do something Christmassy.”

  Jude nodded. Sometimes, when we sat out here, I thought of our first kiss. “Sounds like a plan. Did your mom ever decide if she was going to come down with Adam?”

  I shook my head. “She wants to let us have our first Christmas alone.”

  Folding his hands over his belly, he leaned back in his chair.

  “What?” I asked, rubbing Midnight’s belly.

  “I’m used to big family things for the holidays, you know? Massive. But I like the idea of doing something low-key this year.”

  I sat up. “Are you sure?”

  “Yeah, man. Thanksgiving was a fuckin’ mess, and last Christmas you were still living in Miami. Let’s be selfish for once.”

  “Sounds pretty ideal.”

  “You done know.”

  ~

  Since Christmas was going to be a private affair, we decided to go all out for my birthday. Jude closed the bar one Sunday so we could invite everyone we knew.

  Nora brought Mason jars with handles, which we filled with tea lights and hooked to as many tree branches as we could reach. She and Caroline lined th
e perimeter of the yard with lanterns and little blue solar lights (compliments of Amelia, who, after hearing from Jude how much I adored them, sent down several more boxes.)

  Sydney and Sadie ran around the yard with Midnight while little Silas chilled in his play-yard. He favored Eli with his wispy blond halo of curls and bright blue eyes, sure to be a heartbreaker one day.

  Tommy and Raquel showed up with coolers of drinks around five, and we pre-gamed for a bit, goofing off with a cornhole set Jude had unearthed from the shed.