Starry Eyed Inside Read online

  “It'll be fine,” she said through a yawn. “It's not the first time this has happened.”

  That was true. She'd sprained her ankle pretty badly back in seventh grade.

  "So do you think your mom would let you go?" I asked, balancing my phone as I painted my toenails. "She lets Javi do stuff like that."

  "I'll ask, but, she like, has serious double standards when it comes to me and my brother. It's stupid."

  "It's worth a try. I'm going to ask my parents.”

  “At least Kai's mom is going. If anything buys us a chance, it's that.”

  “Seriously. And if she can't go, I'm telling them Nara is Kai's aunt."

  "Oh boy." Niki chuckled darkly. "Starting with the lies."

  "Dude. My dad is so freaking strict. You know how he is."

  "Yeah, I know. Just... I don't think you should lie. Too easy to get caught and then you'd really be screwed."

  "Maybe I'll just lie on a need-to-lie basis."

  Niki snorted. "Nice, Rory."

  Mom knocked on the door, asking about progress reports. "Okay, I gotta go. Talk to you later."

  By the time I mustered the courage to bring the trip up to my parents, it was time for dinner. I dawdled beside the table, babbling nervously while Dad sat there with this belligerent hell no expression on his face. Mom was no help. She cleared her throat and frowned, fiddling with the stir-fry she was cooking.

  "Aurora, can you set the table please?" she asked, like the conversation was already over.

  Unbelievable. They weren't taking me seriously at all. Gritting my teeth, I grabbed the silverware.

  "I just don't think it's a good idea, Rory. You're fifteen years old," Dad said, as if I hadn't realized.

  "I know. But Skyler went last year and said it was really mellow. We'd be going with Kai's mom, and Nara and Nova – they're like, twenty-two. It's a big group...." I rambled on and on, hoping to wear them down. My father just shook his head, mind made up.

  "No. I think it's a bad idea. Maybe next year." He slapped the table lightly and got up, touching Mom's elbow. "I have to give Jim Riley a call."

  And that was that.

  I glared at his back, heart sinking. I didn't know why I'd even bothered getting my hopes up; I had known before asking he'd say no.

  My mother lowered the heat and turned to me. "I'll work on him."

  I stared at her; unsure I'd heard what I thought I'd heard. "What?"

  "I'll talk to him. As long as there are adults present, I don't think a trip like that's unreasonable. I'm not crazy about you overnighting, but...maybe we can work something out.” She leaned against the counter, folding her arms. “Mrs. Peña is letting Niki go?"

  "I don't know; she said she'd ask her tonight."

  She nodded. "Can't make any promises, but... we'll see okay?"

  Hope bloomed, a scrawny flower pushing through a crack in the sidewalk. "Thanks, Mom." I kissed her cheek and tucked napkins at each place setting.

  It was weird. Every once in a while my mother just...got it.

  "So what did you tell her?" Skyler asked. His voice was so close it sounded like he was next to me.

  "The truth, actually. She said she'd work on my dad."

  "Your mom sounds okay."

  "She is, sometimes.” I rolled to my side, running my fingers over the stitching in my quilt. Time had gentled both its colors and the way it felt, mellowing the fabric to feather-like softness. “I think your mom sounds cool. She lets you do whatever."

  "She doesn't know the half of what I do." He chuffed quietly. "Plus, she's out a lot. They both are. Comes with the territory."

  "I guess." I yawned, holding the phone away. It was going on 2:00 am.

  "You falling asleep?"

  I didn't want to admit it. "Getting there.”

  "I'll let you go— ”

  "I don't—that's okay," I said, not willing to hang up just yet.

  "Nah, it's cool. I should go anyway."

  "Okay." I tried to keep the disappointment at bay. "So...talk soon?"

  "Yeah. Night, Rory."

  "Night," I echoed, hanging up first. Switching off my lamp, I got into bed, bowled over by another massive yawn. Maybe it was for the best; exhaustion was winning out.

  Bed felt amazing. I drifted. I swear I'd just dozed off when a text came though. Feeling around the tangle of blankets, I found my phone and squinted blearily at it.

  Rory

  Hey

  I'm outside

  I stared in shock at my phone, then the window. "Unbelievable."

  Like last time, I tiptoed to the door and locked it, then went to the window and unlocked it. And just like last time, Skyler hoisted himself in, landing with a quiet thump.

  "Thought you were tired," I said, closing the window behind him.

  "I was." He kicked off his shoes and unzipped his hoodie. Yeah – he was totally in pajamas: black sweatpants and an ancient looking Final Fantasy t-shirt, like the ones you get at mall kiosks.

  "I don't believe you," I whisper-giggled, tossing a pillow at him. Was I even awake right now?

  He smirked, catching the pillow and dropping beside me on the bed.

  "What are you doing here?" I asked, bringing him in under the blankets. I knew why he'd come; I just wanted to hear him say it.

  He snaked a cold hand around my hip, making me shiver. I moved closer into the warmth his hoodie had left behind.

  "I don't know." He touched his fingertips to my lips. “But I think about you all the time.”

  My heart lurched so hard I thought it had damn well left my body. Swallowing against the sudden dryness in my throat, I bunched his t-shirt in my fist. "What?"

  He rolled me on to my back and crawled on top of me. I loved when we were this way; loved his weight. It made me feel taken, like he possessed me or something. Maybe I shouldn't have gotten off by things like that, but I did.

  I knew Skyler wouldn't stop at kissing, not when we were so alone, and it was so dark and secret. I didn't want him to. He pulled me to a sitting position and helped me take off my shirt, then removed his own. His skin felt so good on my skin; smooth, warm, good. And then, like some invisible switch had been flipped, his lips were everywhere, on my neck, my breasts, my face, my ears. I kept tightening up inside, like my body wanted things I wasn't ready for.

  "I can't... do it," I whispered.

  "I know," he whispered back.

  He ran his tongue along the underside of my breast, and I gripped his shoulders. As long as he knew that we were cool. I trusted him. I ran my hands over his back, loving the freedom I had to touch him. Looking was great, but feeling was a thousand times better.

  He eased back and started pulling my pants off.

  "Wait –”

  "I'll leave these on," he said, tugging on my underwear.

  "Okay." I settled back, feeling a little naked; really, I almost was.

  Then he took off his pants. I could feel everything this time, even more than last time. Maybe it was all the skin-to-skin contact: chest to chest, stomach to stomach, legs and feet all tangled together. Maybe it was because I'd lost the pj's this time.

  Every time he wrapped his lips around my nipple, I thought I'd soar, just from that. Soon he was touching me, and pulling my hand down to touch him. I wanted to; I just worried I'd be horrible at it.

  "You can squeeze tighter," he said, closing his own hand around mine for a second to show me how. Our hands moved faster. I opened up more, hitching my leg over his hip when we fell to our sides. It all felt so hot and clandestine. Just the thought of what we were doing turned me on even more.

  And then his fingers got clever. I guessed I moaned a little because he started kissing me again. I kept my hand moving around him the way he'd shown me even though it was getting tired.

  It felt like he was getting harder and harder. His kisses were getting harder, too.

  Then he touched me just right, like his thumb brushed over the sweetest, hottest part of me, and I came.
My knees automatically tried to close, but my leg was still around him. He laid back, his hand falling away, and I switched hands, wondering if he was going to get off soon and wondering if I could be doing anything differently.

  "Don't stop, don't stop," he said out of nowhere.

  I didn't stop, and he tensed, spilling warm stuff all over my hand. He stopped me, laughing. "I'm good, Rory."

  I blushed in the dark. "Well, you said don't stop..."

  "You have anything I can clean up with?"

  "Maybe you should plan ahead next time," I teased, carefully withdrawing my hand.

  I retrieved a towel from the shelf in my bathroom and tossed it to him.

  "Thanks."

  "Mhm." I wiped my own hand on another towel in the bathroom and came back to bed, feeling tingly and satiated and anxious all at once.

  I expected him to just get up and go, like he had before, but instead he put his pajamas on and lay back, his hands behind his head.

  "Did you drive?"

  "I skateboarded."

  "You did not!"

  He laughed, gently tweaking my nipple. "Nah. I drove."

  I shoved him and grabbed my pants, pulling them back on. I found my shirt on the floor and started to slip it over my head.

  Skyler stopped me before I could get it on, though. He leaned over, lowering his mouth to one of my nipples again. "I like these."

  I ran my fingers through his hair, holding him close. "I can tell."

  We messed around awhile, and then he got up. "It's really late now."

  My eyes felt gritty and rough. Sitting up, I pulled my shirt back on. "Yeah, late night seems to be your MO though. Texts, phone calls, visits..."

  He put on his hoodie and sneakers and went back out the window, like we were playing the night in reverse.

  "Drive safe," I whispered, terrified my Dad's shadiness detector would go off and he'd randomly get up to check on things.

  "Kay. Night, Rory."

  "Night, Skyler."

  I watched him walk away this time, heard the hushed vroom of an engine starting seconds after he'd dissolved into the dark. Exhausted, I shut the window and lowered the blinds. My room was quiet and still again, my bed about as rumpled as it had been before. The only sign of shenanigans was Skyler's wadded-up towel on the floor...yeah – I'd be washing that one myself. Mom was just starting to get cool with things, no point in getting messy now.

  No pun intended.

  Sweet Disposition

  The sun seemed to fall slowly, unwilling to let go. At the beach, a cold, biting wind blew restlessly over the water, taking whatever warmth the waning sun had and diffusing it.

  Skyler yanked himself away from me, coughing and laughing at the same time.

  I stuck my hands in his jacket. “What?”

  "Swallowed funny," he said, bending to kiss me again. Our tongues touched, and then his was in my mouth and mine was in his. It rocked my world a little, as in I felt dizzy when we stopped.

  He pulled away again, and I fought the urge to follow. Hopping onto the trunk of his car, he hooked his feet around my legs to pull me closer. I swiped the edge of my mouth with my thumb.

  Skyler narrowed his eyes. “Wiping my kisses off?"

  "No." I squinted up at him. The setting sun was behind him, making it hard to see his face. "You got my lip wet."

  "So I'm a messy kisser?"

  "You said it, not me," I said, snuggling closer against the wind.

  "Shut up," he said, reaching his freezing hands beneath my hoodie.

  "Stop!" I tried to get away, but his feet had me locked in. Luckily, he grabbed me before I toppled back on to the sand.

  He grinned. "So who's a messy kisser?"

  "I just said you got my lips wet!"

  "I love getting your lips wet,” he said, emphasis on 'lips'.

  I shook my head, trying not to smile. "You're gross."

  "That's not what you were saying last night," he teased, which was bull—we hadn't even been together the night before. "It was more like, mm. Mmm. Skyler..."

  "Shush," I said, kissing him to quiet him.

  "I know what would get you really wet," he continued, biting his lip in a rather provocative way.

  "What?" I asked warily, not trusting him when he was in this silly a mood.

  He flicked his tongue at me, letting me know exactly what.

  I ignored the automatic tingle I felt down there and played it off. "You're just trying to get a reaction."

  "It's working. You're turning red just thinking about it."

  I probably was; I didn't have to touch my face to know it was warm. Ever since Teigan had started telling her dirty stories, it was all I freaking thought about, except in my mind it was Skyler doing it to me.

  His smile faded. Slipping down off the car, he stuck his fingers into my hair and turned us around so he had me pinned. I loved when he kissed me like this. The playful parts were sweet and sexy but this? It was so serious, like he had a need that met my need. I closed my eyes when his mouth moved to my neck, the stinging-sucking sensation almost pulling me under.

  "They're not gonna let me go anywhere with you if you leave hickies on my neck," I said, pulling him gently back by his hair. I didn't tell him I wanted those marks everywhere, that it felt amazing when he did it, all warm and hurt-good.

  "You never told me what your mom decided," Skyler said, circling his thumb around my belly button. His hands had warmed up a little, courtesy of my skin.

  "If she can get my dad to agree, I have to call every hour.” I paused. “Seriously. And I have to have my homework done before I go, and I have to be back by five on Sunday."

  "Not bad."

  "Not bad?" I echoed. "It'll be divine intervention. I'm praying like crazy."

  He grinned, wrapping his hands around my hips.

  "Yeah, she and Niki's mom are in cahoots. They're calling Kai's mom tonight." I rolled my eyes at that last part, visualizing the WTF look Mrs. Fox would have, listening to las madres locas on the other end of the line.

  "She don't play." Skyler chuckled.

  "Nope." I wrinkled my nose, hyper-aware of how young all of this made me sound.

  Skyler leaned against the car. "I think Kai's bringing Molly."

  "Oh, yeah? That's cool."

  "Not really.” He shook his head, staring out to sea. “She's clingy as hell."

  "Really?" I thought back to the few times I'd seen Kai and Molly out together. She didn't seem that bad to me.

  "Yeah. She wants him to like, settle down or whatever."

  "Does Kai want that?" I asked.

  He shrugged.

  "Maybe she just really likes him," I said, knowing just how the other girl felt.

  "Not everything has to be defined," Skyler said suddenly, running his hands through his hair. "Sometimes people just like to go with the flow."

  I rolled my eyes.

  "What?"

  "That's just really... typical." I sighed. "There's nothing wrong with wanting to feel secure. It doesn't have to mean you're clingy."

  Nodding, he pulled his phone from his pocket and eyed it, tapping out a quick something to someone.

  I freed my hands from my hoodie so I could knot my hair into a bun. It was getting long again. "What's up?"

  "My mom's riding me to get home. She's making lasagna."

  Truthfully, I was kind of glad we'd been interrupted. I wasn't in the mood to hash labels out with Skyler, not right before the trip. Sometimes it still felt surreal that we were anything at all. Other times, though, it felt almost normal. Those times were dangerous. They made me want more.

  "Let's go. My mom's probably wondering where I am, too," I said, making sure to shake the sand from my sneakers before getting into the car.

  We reversed away from the beach and back out on to the road. You weren't really supposed to park on the sand, but there were areas along the Intracoastal side that made it easy.

  Skyler rolled down the windows, turning up the mus
ic as we cruised US 1. This was my favorite time of day, when the sun was down but the sky stilled glowed, when the car lights and neon signs burned extra bright, colors saturated against the gray of dusk.

  "I'm gonna get one of those.” He jerked his chin toward a brand new Camaro a lane over. I didn't know cars really, but I knew that car—it was sexy and demanded attention. Kind of like Skyler.

  I raised an eyebrow. "Oh yeah?"

  "Yeah." He sat back. "Graduation present."

  "So, in two years," I teased.

  "I can wait," he said, giving me a little wink. "A ride like that is worth waiting for."

  I studied him, trying to see if this was one of his double entendres. Glancing at me, he clamped his hand on my thigh and squeezed, letting me know it was.

  "It'll be worth the wait," I said.

  I was finishing up my history paper, running it through spell-check, when Mom poked her head in the door. "How's it coming along?"

  "It's good...almost done," I said, correcting the mistakes that were popping up.

  She came in, closing the door. "I just got off the phone with Luz.”

  I blinked, the intense homework fog I'd been in for hours lifting. Forgetting my paper for a moment, I swung my chair around and faced my mother.

  Her smile faded a bit, and she sighed. "I don't know. I would have been devastated if I was you and I couldn't go. But you have no idea how scary it is for me to let you go."

  I nodded, because that made sense. "Did you get a chance to call Kai's mom, too?"

  "Yes, and I even spoke to Nova for a while." She shot me a look. "I'm not stupid; I know she's barely older than you all."

  "Mom, she's like twenty-two." Nova Black could be a hardass when she wanted to be; I could completely see her siding with her mom and putting her foot down in Orlando.

  "Like I said." Mom sighed. She was just full of sighs tonight. "Anyway, they assured me that they'd keep an eye on you...not let you room with the boys—”

  Cringing, I covered my face and groaned in embarrassment. “Mom...”

  “So,” she said loudly, “It comes down to trust, and I guess I do.”

  A massive wave of relief crashed over me, and I jumped up, hugging my mother. “Totally! Mrs. Fox is a great lady. She—”