Brighter (Brighter #1) Read online

  By the time we'd finished our beers, Larsen's had started to fill up. Down at the other end of the bar, Jude had taken over as bartender. He was talking to Ivy, but his gaze kept flickering over her shoulder to me. Heart stuttering a little, I picked up my phone and scrolled mindlessly through Instagram. I didn't need to notice Jude Larsen or those beautiful eyes. Theo may not have been my true love, but we were here together.

  And then Cole belched boisterously in my ear. “I'm hungry,” he said, smacking the bar top. “Let's go upstairs and get some conch fritters.”

  Chapter Four

  Taking one last look at myself in the bathroom mirror, I grabbed my makeup bag and turned off the light. Theo whistled when I joined him in the bedroom, his eyes trailing me from head to toe. “Hey, heartbreaker.”

  Laughing, I rolled my eyes. It was hard not to feel special when someone like Theo was lavishing the attention.

  “I mean it. You look great.” He swept a hand down my jeans, squeezing when he got to my ass. I’d inherited my mother’s healthy curves. Having an active lifestyle kept me in shape, but I’d always had to watch it.

  Touched by his serious tone, I tossed the makeup bag aside and faced him. “Thank you. You don't look half-bad, yourself.”

  He smirked, because he always looked good—and he knew it. “Having fun?”

  “You know I am.”

  “Me too.” Coming closer, he grabbed my ass again and squeezed. "I think this lifestyle agrees with you."

  I wrapped my arms around him, flushed from the sudden rush of desire. Ironically, despite the constant flirting and drinking, we hadn’t been very physical since coming to St. Croix. “It does. I almost don't want to go.”

  “So stay.” His lips found my neck. “I’m think I’m going to.”

  “What?” I breathed, eyes closed as his fingers tickled up under my shirt.

  “I’m staying the summer, and I think you should, too.”

  That was so tempting. After coming back to Cole's, I'd done some research online, curious about Ivy's friend and the local university. There was a lot of focus on the sea turtles that migrated annually to St. Croix, something that piqued my interest. I'd spent a lot of time studying leatherbacks in Costa Rica, just a year before.

  “Maybe, and this is just a thought,” he said, staring down at me, “not getting that internship was a blessing in disguise. Maybe you were supposed to come here. Didn’t you say Ivy knows people who do what you do?”

  I bit my lip, nodding. Deciding to stay, even for just the summer, was like cutting the cord to reality. I felt untethered, but in the best way. Like I was off the grid.

  “Is that a yes?” Theo's eyes crinkled with a smile. “Cole says we can stay as long as we want.”

  I glanced at my suitcase. If coming to St. Croix was diving in, then staying for the summer was swimming to the deep end. I had no idea what I was doing, and for once I liked it that way. “I can’t believe I’m even considering this. Okay! Let’s do it. Let's stay.”

  ~

  The sun slipped past the horizon as we drove to Cane Bay, casting a ruddy glow across the afternoon. We parked up the road and joined the stragglers making their way toward the party, which seemed to stretch from the beach to the bar across the street.

  Billy and Logan were already at the bar. They bought us a round of drinks when we announced we were staying the summer. One rum and coke turned into three, and before long, I was tipsy. I danced with the boys for a while, swaying along to the mellow reggae pulsing from the stage.

  “You want anything?” Theo asked, catching me on my way back from the bathroom.

  “Not really. Who's driving back?” Navigating those dark, windy roads seemed tricky even when sober.

  He shrugged. “I can probably drive. I've only had two.”

  Still. “I'll have a club soda. With lime.”

  A dark-skinned girl with glitter in her 'fro was passing out glow sticks. Theo gave me his, so I connected it to mine to wear as a bracelet. Cole wore several on his head, looking like a hippie-raver-beach-bum.

  After bouncing back and forth between the bar and the beach, our ever-growing group opted to stay on the sand. I shoved my shoes in to my purse, preferring the feel of cool night sand between my toes.

  I spotted Ivy in the crowd, and then I saw her again...wearing something different, and holding on to someone who looked a lot like Jude.

  Confused, I tugged Cole's hand. “Does Ivy have a sister?”

  He swallowed a gulp of beer and nodded, searching the crowd. “A twin. Ariel. Why, d'you see 'em?”

  “I think so,” I said, pointing.

  Squinting, his face suddenly broke in to a wide grin. He waved his arms, sloshing beer in the process.

  I watched with slight trepidation as Jude broke through the crowd, sandwiched between identical goddesses. I couldn't tell them apart, but I had to assume that the one trailing him, holding him by the belt loop, was Ariel.

  Theo slid his hand into my back pocket, easing me to his side. I’d always love how he smelled. Comforted by his closeness, I leaned into him as Jude and the girls greeted Cole.

  “Hey, man,” said Jude, nodding at Theo and giving him a daps. It was more like a complicated fist bump, but Theo had caught on quickly. “Alina,” he added, smiling down at me.

  “Jude,” I replied, trying to ignore the vibe between us. His eyes danced, like he knew…and maybe he did. Meanwhile, I'd been right about who was who—the one standing furthest from Jude grinned, stepping forward to give me a quick hug.

  “Hey, Alina,” said Ivy. “I'm glad you came out! I heard you're staying?”

  My, news traveled fast on this island. Shrugging, I nodded. “For the summer, at least.”

  “Hello.” The other girl fluttered her fingers. “I'm Ariel.”

  “Alina.” I waved back, squirming as Theo's squeezed my ass, the way he'd been doing at the house. I glanced up at him, laughing at his silly grin. “Behave.”

  “Never.” But he let go, turning to ask Cole about a dive trip we'd been discussing in the car.

  “So, I didn't realize you had a twin,” I said to Ivy. Ariel's hair was lighter, and her makeup was perfect, but otherwise I didn't think I could tell them apart. “That's awesome.”

  “It definitely came in handy growing up,” she agreed, sharing a smirk with her sister.

  Ariel whispered something to Jude, slipping away into the crowd. Ivy jumped suddenly, waving to someone she knew. “Be right back,” she said, touching my arm.

  The moon was high and full, its reflection rippling on the gentle, dark waves. I wandered to the water, shivering when it touched my toes. Knowing that we were staying on St. Croix for a while put things into a different perspective. For once, I wasn't studying, or working, or in the trenches of research. Who was I down here? A tourist girl? Theo's girl? I didn't know who to be when I wasn't doing the things that made me, me.

  Ugh. I'd had too much to drink, after all. Suddenly I missed Caroline, and even my mom, wishing they were here to soak up St. Croix's tranquility with me.

  “Alina.” Jude had appeared beside me. Like the water, his dark hair shone beneath the moon. “Can’t say I’ve ever met an Alina.”

  “Probably not.” I dug my toes into the damp sand. “I was named after my great-grandma.”

  “Aha.”

  “Mhm.”

  “So.” His gaze slid over me. “You guys are staying, huh?”

  I tore my eyes away, choosing instead to focus on the drunks splashing at the shore, shrieking with laughter. “Yeah. Until August, probably.”

  We stood silently for a moment, still in a sea of moving bodies.

  “Must be nice.”

  Ivy had said something similar at the bar earlier, but it felt different coming from Jude. Had they discussed us, or something? “What, exactly?”

  “Coming and going as you please.” He brought his beer to his mouth.

  “Oh, is that what I do?”

  “Isn't it?
You’re on vacation, right?”

  “Yeah, but…”

  “And your boy’s money, right?”

  He was insinuating things I'd always been sensitive about, and I took a step back. I wasn't sure what bothered me more: that he'd tapped into my insecurities, or that he thought he knew me.

  “I see it all the time” He chuckled. “America's Paradise, the rich people’s playground. Perfect for Instagram.”

  He was starting to lose me. Logically, I understood what he was saying—I just wasn't sure why he was saying it to me. It was as if he was being purposefully, antagonistic...and I had no idea why.

  “You know nothing about me, Jude.” His nearness made my stomach flip, and I hated it. “Don't assume that you do.”

  The waves crashed. Ivy walked back, running her hand down my arm, and I let her pull me away.

  Chapter Five

  Theo rolled off me, his brow glistening with sweat. I loved seeing him like this, face flushed from sex. It was like, despite his cool, collected demeanor, there were still things that could illicit raw reactions from him.

  I thought back to the night we first crossed the line, how easy and comfortable it had been even then. I felt safe with Theo, and I knew it was the same for him. He trusted me, knew that despite my humble background, I was in no way after his money. He'd had to deal with that before, so he didn't just hook up with anyone.

  Me? I’d had my share of flaky guys who just wanted sex or clingy ones who resented my dedication to school. It was different with Theo; we understood each other. No expectations. Caroline liked to say we were married to our degrees, and she was probably right. The sex, these vacations...they were fun, but they would never lead anywhere.

  Interesting thoughts to be having when my body was still coming down from the euphoria of orgasm.

  “One thing I miss”— Theo panted, his muscular chest still rising and falling from exertion— “is proper air conditioning.”

  I stared up at the fan, whirring lazily above us. “I kinda like the open breeze.”

  “Yeah, because I'm the one doing all the work,” he teased, smacking my thigh as he got up.

  Closing my eyes, I smiled. “Maybe.”

  ~

  Rain fell all day Saturday, forcing us to stay indoors. I spent the day doing laundry and phoning everyone back home, letting them know we'd be staying through the summer. There was envious surprise (from Caroline) and a little concern (my Mom), but like Theo, they seemed to think I deserved the time off.

  I loved what I did, loved my studies. I'd never seen the need to take a break, because it'd never really felt like work. Of course, as I swung in the hammock on the porch, watching Buck Island materialize from the grey mist, this was ideal.

  Jude's words darted, unbidden, through my mind.

  ~

  “That place has the best ice cream,” said Cole, pointing out a mint-colored building. It was Sunday, and we were headed west, back to Rainbow Beach.

  “Armstrong's?” I squinted at the sign as we passed.

  “Yep. Dude used to make it in his house and sell it to neighborhood kids from his garage. Now, it's a family business.”

  “We should stop there on the way home,” I said, patting my belly.

  “For sure.”

  Because Cole lived so far east, we rarely made our way to this end of the island. Still, I recognized certain things, like the Frederiksted pier and the dusty, pothole addled parking lot, overgrown with bush and trees.

  “Now, you see why I have four-wheel drive,” Cole said, backing in to a space.

  Billy and Logan pulled up. We unloaded our coolers—God forbid we should go anywhere without access to a ton of alcohol—and crossed the street. Rainbow Beach was the place to be on a Sunday. It reminded me a little of the Full Moon party, except with sunshine and volleyball. And jet skis.

  We found an available spot near a tree—unheard-of luck, according to Billy—and set up camp. Logan's girlfriend, Emma, sat beside me. We chatted for a while, slathering on sunscreen. I was tanner than I’d ever been in my life, so I'd abandoned the oil and SPF 4 for SPF 50. There was nothing cute about the leathery, wrinkled skin.

  “Carrot stick?” Emma offered, holding out a plastic baggie.

  “Thanks,” I said, taking a couple. Living with the boys made me miss produce. It was apparent that I would need to take over grocery shopping duties if I ever wanted to see a fruit or veggie again.

  Theo walked over, handing each of us a beer. “You going in the water?”

  “In a while,” I said, smiling up at him. He had a great tan, as well, making his blue eyes look electric.

  “All right. I'm gonna play,” he said, jerking his thumb toward the volleyball pit.

  I blew him a kiss and watched him walk away, appreciating the cold beer in my hands.

  “How long have you guys been together?” Emma asked.

  “Erm, about a year,” I said, because that was close enough. “What about you and Logan?”

  “Two years,” she said, looking out to sea. “It's kinda weird, actually.” Her cheeks turned pink. “I came down here like you, with my boyfriend...except, we didn't come on vacation; he'd been offered a job in St. Thomas. I'd just graduated high school, so we said screw it, let's go.”

  “And what happened?”

  “We were in St. Croix for a couple nights.” She dug a little hole in the sand to rest her beer bottle. “I met Logan at a party, and we hooked up.”

  “Just like that?” I squinted down the beach at Logan, who was playing volleyball with Theo. It was always the quiet ones, I supposed.

  “Yeah. Just like that. We'd been drinking but...it didn't matter. I really liked him, and things were kind of over with TJ.”

  “Is he still here? Your ex?”

  “Nah, TJ was over St. Croix even before he was over me. He went back to Philly when the job ended.”

  “Do you ever regret it?” I asked, weirdly hungry to know every detail.

  “Coming down or breaking up with TJ?”

  “Either. Both.”

  “Nope.” She shook her head, brushing her hands off on her towel. “What's meant to be will be, and honestly, if your relationship can't survive someplace like this...it's not going to be able to survive, period.”

  There were so many stories. I wondered what Jude's was. My mind came back to him so often I didn't bother resisting anymore. It wasn't like I was going to ever see him again after this summer.

  The sea beckoned, shimmering like a jewel before us. “Shall we go in?” I asked, setting my empty bottle down.

  ~

  The high-pitched whine of jet skis grew louder before retreating into the distance again. Shading my eyes, I stood and squinted at Theo, Cole, and Billy, who'd been racing around for the past half hour. My thighs were still a little wobbly from my own jaunt into the blue, clinging to Theo as we'd raced over the water.

  Emma floated beside me, eyes closed, arms stretched out. We'd just swum in from the buoys, where the water was so deep, and so clear, that it had been like swimming in an aquarium. I was still kicking myself for forgetting the snorkel gear at Cole's.

  “I'm turning into a prune,” I said, examining my wrinkly fingers. “I think I'm going to get out for a while.”

  “Go ahead.” Emma smiled serenely, eyes still closed. “I'll be out in a bit.”

  I was about to reclaim my spot on the towel when a food van pulled up and parked on the side of the road. Wondering if they had any of the johnny cakes Cole had gotten me addicted to, I grabbed my wallet, pulled on a cover-up, and hurried over.

  The mouthwatering smells of fried goodness had already teased a small crowd closer. They didn't have johnny cakes, but they did have pates: small, crescent shaped pastries filled with meat. Unwilling to decide between beef and saltfish, I ordered one of each.

  A group of sporty red and black motorcycles rode slowly by, engines growling like they were dying to break free. The lead bike pulled off up ahead, its rider sl
iding his helmet from his head as he glanced back at me. “Alina?”

  Unbelievable. Of all the people to pop up! Jude and I hadn't seen each other since the Full Moon party, and his opinion of me then hadn't seemed too great. Then again, maybe he was just a dickhead. Giving him a quick wave, I took a huge bite of beef pate and started for the beach.

  “Alina,” he called again, cutting the engine.